skills/difficult-conversation/SKILL.md

---
name: difficult-conversation
description: Use when a negotiation is being hindered by hostility, defensiveness, misunderstanding, sensitive disagreement, upward communication, or a relationship that requires firm but de-escalating interaction.
---

# Difficult Conversation

## Overview

Prepare interaction that protects substance without unnecessary escalation. Freeman's relevant material includes Rapport/Reactions/Responses, accurate understanding, Paraphrase–Praise–Probe, common interests and credible agreement/disagreement consequences. [F03][F04][F05]

**Interface:** accept `schemas/SKILL_REQUEST.md`; return `schemas/SKILL_RESPONSE.md`. Never persist state.

## Method

1. **Diagnose the interaction barrier.** Separate the substantive dispute from misunderstanding, defensiveness, authority or tone.
2. **Understand before challenging.** Where contentious, formulate the counterpart's strongest legitimate concern accurately before rebuttal.
3. **Use Paraphrase–Praise–Probe selectively.** Paraphrase accurately; praise only something genuine and non-trivial; probe with a question that clarifies or tests rather than accuses. Praise may be omitted. [F04][F05]
4. **Find specific common interest.** Use shared interests only when they can affect a proposal. Reject generic “we both want success” language. [F03]
5. **Prepare reactions/responses.** Anticipate credible resistance without simulating a full dialogue.
6. **Frame consequences credibly.** Explain supported consequences of agreement/non-agreement without fabricated threats. [F03]
7. **Return an interaction strategy.** Provide findings, useful probes, response principles and warnings. Final communication belongs to F07.

## Research-gap restraint

Golden Minute, APSO, Exactly! Challenge and later named Freeman tools have incomplete primary-source capture in the research base. Use only the supported underlying principles; do not claim an invented exact procedure.

## Safeguards

- Do not manufacture praise or empathy theatre.
- Do not mirror hostility merely to sound strong.
- Do not turn hypotheses about motive into accusations.
- Do not use humiliation, fake urgency or invented consequences.
- Preserve the user's substantive boundary; de-escalation is not concession.
- Detailed stakeholder/authority routing belongs to F04; role-play to F06; final drafting to F07.

## Stop condition

Stop when the orchestrator has a credible interaction approach that can address the barrier without weakening the approved strategy.