skills/sistani-guidance/references/books/west/pages-205-216.md

# A Code of Practice for Muslims in the West

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Previous block: [pages 193 to 204](pages-193-204.md).

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## PDF PAGE 205

```text
..……………………………………………… ٥٠٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
It is permissible for the couple to recite the formula of marriage
agreement by themselves or by appointing representatives who
will recite it on their behalf. There is no condition for the
presence of witnesses during the solemnization of the marriage,
just as the presence of a cleric is not a condition for the validity
of the marriage.
For a person who cannot recite the formula of marriage in
Arabic, it is permissible to say it in a language that would
convey the meaning of marriage, even if he can appoint
someone to say it in Arabic.
A Muslim man is allowed to marry a Christian or a Jewish
woman in temporary marriage. Based on precaution, it is
obligatory to refrain from marrying a non-Muslim woman in
permanent marriage.
A Muslim man is not allowed to marry, neither permanently
nor temporarily a non-Muslim woman who is not among Ahlul
Kitab. Based on obligatory precaution, a Muslim man must
refrain from marrying a Zoroastrian woman, even temporarily.
As for a Muslim woman, she is not allowed to marry a non-
Muslim man at all. (See the question-answer section below.)
In marrying a virgin woman, whether Muslim or from Ahlul
Kitab, it is necessary to get the consent of her father or paternal
grandfather, if she is not independent. However, it is
precautionarily obligatory to seek their consent [i.e., of the
father or the paternal grandfather], even if she is independent.
Consent of the woman’s brother, mother, sister or other
relations is not required.
```

## PDF PAGE 206

```text
..……………………………………………… ٦٠٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
The consent of the father or the paternal grandfather to marry a
virgin woman, who is both adult and sensible, is not required
[in the following cases:]
if they stop her from marrying someone who is her equal in the
eyes of both shar’ia and common practice;
if they completely withdraw from the involvement in her
marriage;
when it is not possible to get their consent because of their
absence.
In these cases, she is permitted to marry, if she is in need of
marriage.
The consent of the father or the paternal grandfather is not
required in the marriage of a non-virgin woman (that is, a girl
who had previously married and had sexual intercourse). But
the case of the woman who had lost her virginity because of
fornication or another cause is like that of a virgin.
In countries where the majority of people consists of atheists
and Ahlul Kitab, i.e. non-Muslims, it is necessary for a Muslim
to ask the woman whom he wants to marry about her religion
so that he may ensure that she is not an atheist and thus the
marriage be valid. Her answer [about her faith and religion] is
to be accepted.
A Muslim man who is married to a Muslim woman is not
allowed, in his concurrent second marriage, to marry an Ahlul
```

## PDF PAGE 207

```text
..……………………………………………… ٧٠٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
Kitab woman, i.e. a Jew or a Christian, without asking the
consent of his Muslim wife. Based on obligatory precaution,
the man should refrain from marrying her, even it is temporary
and his Muslim wife consents to it. Whether or not the Muslim
lides with him is immaterial. (See the question-answer section
below.)
It is not permissible to engage in sexual relations with an Ahlul
Kitab woman without a marriage contract, even if the
government of her country is in a state of war with Muslims.
(See the question-answer section below.)
Based on obligatory precaution, one should refrain from
marrying a woman whose notorious for adultery, unless she
has repented. Similarly, based on obligatory precaution, the
adulterer should not marry the woman with whom he
committed adultery, unless she has repented. (See the question-
answer section below.)
If the marriage that took place among non-Muslims is valid
according to their custom, such marriage is also considered
valid by us regardless of whether the spouses are both Ahlul
Kitab, both non-Ahlul Kitab, or one is an Ahlul Kitab and the
other is non-Ahlul Kitab. When both spouses embrace Islam
together, they will remain married based on the past marriage,
i.e. there would be no need to recite the marriage formula anew
according to the tradition of our religion and school of thought.
If the father withdraws his guardianship from his virgin
daughter and considers her independent, after reaching the age
```

## PDF PAGE 208

```text
..……………………………………………… ٨٠٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
of eighteen, as is common in the West, it is permissible to
marry her without getting the consent and approval of her
father.
“It is permissible for the husband and wife to look at the body
of one another, outside and inside, including the private parts;
and also to touch any part of one another with any part of their
own body with lust and without it.”  )٨(١
It is obligatory on the husband to provide for the wife if she is
a permanent wife and obedient to him in matters in which she
is required to obey him. In this case, it is obligatory on the
husband to provide whatever the wife needs in her life like
food, dress, and accommodation with the required amenities
like fan, air-conditioner, carpets, furniture, etc. that are
commensurate with her status as his wife. Such status would
differ according to place, time, circumstances, common
perceptions, customs, standard of living, etc. (See the question-
answer section below.)
It is obligatory on the husband to pay for his wife when he asks
her to accompany him in his travels. It is similarly obligatory
on him to meet her travelling expenses when she goes on a
journey that is necessarily connected to the affairs of her life.
For example, if she is sick and her treatment depends on
traveling to a specialist, it is obligatory on the husband to pay
for the expenses, her ticket as well as medical charges.
 ١Ibid, p.  .١١
```

## PDF PAGE 209

```text
..……………………………………………… ٩٠٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
“It is not permissible to neglect sexual relations with a young
wife for more than four months, unless there is an excuse like
unbearable difficulty or harm [in fulfillment of that duty] or
unless she agrees to it [that is, forgoes her conjugal rights] or if
it was part of their agreement at the time of marriage.
“Based on obligatory precaution, this rule is not limited to the
permanent wife, i.e. it includes the temporary wife also.
Similarly, based on obligatory precaution, it is not restricted to
the husband who is present. It also includes the husband who is
travelling. Therefore, it would not be permissible for him to
prolong his journey, (without valid reason), if it entails
depriving the wife of her right, more so when the journey is not
regarded as essential in the people’s eyes, i.e. a vacation or
pleasure.”   )٩(١
“It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-
Muslim man in permanent or temporary marriage.”   )٠١(٢
“If the husband harasses his wife and is spiteful towards her
without any valid reason, it is permissible for her to present her
case to the religious judge who will force him to live with her
in an amicable manner if that is possible, or censure him as he
seems fit. If that also does not work, she can demand divorce
from her husband. If he refuses to divorce her and it is not
possible to force him to divorce her, the religious judge will
 ١As-Sayyid as-Sistani, Minhaju 's-Saliheen, vol.  ,٢p. ٠١- ;١١
also see the last reference.
 ٢Ibid, p.  .٧٦
```

## PDF PAGE 210

```text
..……………………………………………… ٠١٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
pronounce her divorced.”( )١١( ١See the question-answer section
below.)
It is permissible to artificially inseminate the wife with her
husband’s sperm, provided that the process of insemination
does not involve a haram act, like looking at the body parts
that are forbidden and other haram acts. (See the question-
answer section below.)
It is permissible for a woman to use contraceptives (the pill) to
prevent pregnancy, provided that it does not damage her health
in a serious manner, irrespective of whether or not the husband
has agreed to it.
It is permissible for a woman to use Intrauterine Devices (IUD)
and other birth control devices provided that they do not pose
serious harm to the woman’s health and that the insertion of the
device does not involve a haram act, such as the male touching
or looking at the private parts of the woman’s body that are
forbidden for him to look at. Similarly, it should not involve
the female looking at, and touching without gloves the private
parts that are haram to touch or look at. Moreover, the IUD
should not cause the abortion of the fertilized ovum after its
implantation [in the womb].  )٢١( ٢
 ١As-Sayyid as-SistAni, Minhaju 's-Saliheen, vol.  ,٢p.  .٩٠١
 ٢Translator's Note: "The medical experts do not exactly know
how IUD works. Presently there are two opinions: one says
that the IUD prevents fertilization; and the other says that it
```

## PDF PAGE 211

```text
..……………………………………………… ١١٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
It is not permissible for a woman to abort the feotus after the
soul has entered into it, irrespective of the reason for abortion.
It is permissible to abort the feotus before the soul enters it, if
there is an unbearable harm to the mother in continuing the
pregnancy or it becomes extremely difficult for her. (See the
question-answer section below.)
If the mother aborts the feotus by herself, she is liable fot the
indemnity. Similarly, if the father or a third person, like a
doctor, caused the abortion, the indemnity is payable by that
person. (See the question-answer section below.) There are
other details and rules regarding the issue of abortion in the
Manuals of Islamic Laws and other books of Islamic
jurisprudence.   )٣١(١
prevents the fertilized ovum from implantation onto the uterus.
Since the shar'i pregnancy begins at implantation, there is no
problem in using the IUD as a birth control device irrespective
of the above differences among professionals." Marriage &
Morals in Islam (Toronto: IEIC, Revised Edition,  )٤٩٩١p.
 .١٢١
 ١See as-Sistani, Minhaju 's-Saliheen, vol.  ,٢p. ٦٣١- ٧٣١as well
as his al-Masa'ilu 'l-Muntakhaba, p. ٥٨٣- .٩١٤
```

## PDF PAGE 212

```text
..……………………………………………… ٢١٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
Question and Answers
Question: Is it permissible for us to give the Imam’s portion of
khums for the marriage of a believer (mo’min) in the West,
knowing that the amount of money that is given here [for this
one marriage] can be used for marriages of more than one
believer [in the Muslim countries], and there are many needy
believes, in Muslim countries? Is it not necessary that most
possible numbers of deserving people should be helped from
sahm-e Imam?
Answer: Although providing for the marriage of needy
believers is among the avenues covered by the portion of the
Imam (a.s.), one is not permitted to utilize it for this or its other
purposes without the permission of the marja‘ or his
representative.
It is not necessary to use the sahm-e Imam to serve the interests
of the most possible number of deserving people; what is
important is to prioritize the important causes. This
prioritization varies according to circumstances.
Question: Is it sufficient for a non-Arab to pronounce the
marriage formula in Arabic without understanding the meaning
of the words, even though we know that the purpose for
uttering those words is to solemnize the marriage in the right
way?
Supposing that just the utterance is sufficient, is it necessary to
```

## PDF PAGE 213

```text
..……………………………………………… ٣١٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
say it in Arabic without having the need to say the marriage
formula in another language?
Answer: It would be sufficient, provided that the person has
some understanding, even roughly, of the meaning of the
Arabic words based on obligatory precaution, it would not be
sufficient to pronounce it in another language.
Question: Is it valid to pronounce the marriage formula
through a telephone?
Answer: It is valid.
Question: Is it possible [for a witness] to give evidence using
the telephone or fax or letter?
Answer: The rules and consequences that apply to the bearing
of witness in presence of a judge cannot materialize without
the physical presence of the witness. As for the testimony that
just deals with describing the incident the way it occurred, the
methods mentioned above, and other methods similar to them,
are sufficient, provided that they are secured from fraud and
error.
Question: Is it permissible to look carefully at the body, with
exception of the private parts, of the woman one intends to
marry with sexual motivation or without it?
Answer: It is permissible to look at the woman’s features like
the face, the hair, and the hands but without lustful intention.
```

## PDF PAGE 214

```text
..……………………………………………… ٤١٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
And [it is permissible], even if one knows that lustful thoughts
will naturally occur [by looking at her]. When a person has
come to know about her features by the first look, it is not
permissible to look again.
Question: Some Western governments allow the daughter to
be independent of her parents, after she has passed the age of
sixteen. If she seeks her parents advice, it is only for seeking
their opinion or out of respect for them. Is such a virgin girl
allowed to marry, be it permanent or a temporary marriage,
without the consent of her father?
Answer: If this means that the father has allowed her to marry
whomsoever she wants or that he has withdrawn from
interfering in the matter of her marriage, it is permissible for
her to do so; otherwise, based on obligatory precaution, it is not
permissible.
Question: If a woman is over thirty years of age, and still
virgin, is it necessary for her to seek the permission of her
guardian for marriage?
Answer: If she is not independent, it is obligatory on her to
seek his consent. Rather, even if she is independent, she must
seek his consent, as a matter of compulsory precaution.
Question: Is it permissible for a virgin girl to use the light
beauty powder in order to draw attention [to herself] in ladies
only gatherings? What if she does so with the purpose of
```

## PDF PAGE 215

```text
..……………………………………………… ٥١٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
seeking marriage — wouldn’t it be counted as concealing
physical defects, [if there were any]?
Answer: It is permissible for her to do that and it would not be
regarded as “concealing the physical defects”. Even if it were,
it would not be haram unless she was intent on deceiving the
person who wants to marry her.
Question: When is it permissible for a wife to ask for divorce
through the religious judge? Is it permissible for a wife —
whose husband constantly treats her badly or a wife whose is
sexually not satisfied by her husband to an extent that she fears
committing that which is haram — to ask for divorce and be
divorced?
Answer: It is permissible for her to ask for divorce through the
religious judge, if her husband refuses to fulfill her marital
rights and also refuses to divorce her after the religious judge
has ordered him to do one of the two. In such a case, the judge
would pronounce the divorced the wife.
The circumstances in which this could happen are the
following:
When the husband refuses to provide for the wife and also
refuses to divorce her. This would include the case of a
husband who is unable to provide for his wife and also refuses
to divorce her.
```

## PDF PAGE 216

```text
..……………………………………………… ٦١٢A Code of Practice For Muslims in the West
When the husband harasses the wife, treats her unjustly, and
does not behave with her kindly as Almighty Allah has
ordained.
When the husband abandons her completely and she becomes
like a suspended woman, i.e. neither married nor free to marry.
As for the case where he does not fully satisfy her sexual needs
to an extent that she fears committing the haram, then, based
on compulsory precaution, the husband must fulfill her needs
or consent to her demand for divorce. However, if he does not
do that, then the wife has to bear the situation patiently and
wait [for a better future].
Question: There is a Muslim woman whose husband has left
her for a long time now so much so that there is no hope of
their getting reunited in the near future; she claims that she
cannot stay without a husband because of the difficulty in
living as a single woman in the West where she fears robbery
and stealing by break-ins into the house. Can she ask for
divorce through the religious judge so that he may pronounce
the divorce, whereby she can, remarry whosoever she wants?
Answer: If the husband has abandoned her, she can take her
case to the religious judge who will then force the husband to
choose one of two courses: either end the abandonment or
release her [by divorce] so that she can marry someone else. If
he refuses to do any of the two, and it is not possible to force
him to adopt one of the two alternatives, the religious judge has
the right to pronounce the divorce at her request.
But if the wife is the one who has left her husband without any
```