skills/sistani-guidance/references/books/jme/pages-181-192.md

# Jurisprudence Made Easy

PDF pages 181 to 192. Physical PDF numbering, not inferred printed labels.

Mechanical text extraction, not a verified transcription. Read the full rule or dialogue across page boundaries and retain its footnotes.

Source characters are preserved except corrupt control glyphs, which are marked. Blank layout lines are removed. Do not silently repair other wording.

Previous block: [pages 169 to 180](pages-169-180.md).

Next block: [pages 193 to 204](pages-193-204.md).

## PDF PAGE 181

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181
15. Do not drink water with fatty food.
16. Eat from the plate, or place, nearer to you, i.e. not from
those placed in front of other people.
17. Do not over eat.
18. Using the right hand, for those who are not left-
handed, in eating.
```

## PDF PAGE 182

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182
Dialogue on Marriage
Our neighbour, Hussain has invited us to attend the
wedding party of his son, Ali. It will take place at five
o’clock in the afternoon of this coming Friday. We shall be
with them on this happy occasion.
* But Ali is still in the prime of his youth. He is only twenty
years old. It is not yet time for him to get married!
- Do I hear that you say it is not time for him to marry! He
is as you very young and active mentally and physically.
Because his sexual urge is strong, he needs to be able to
satisfy it. Marriage at an early age is the best defence
against falling prey to that which is sinful. That is because
man’s soul is bent on temptation; “And I do not declare
myself innocent, most surely (man’s) self is wont to
command (him to do) evil, except such as my Lord has had
mercy on, surely my Lord is Forgiving, Merciful”, declares
The Almighty. (12/53).
I must admit that the moment my father started talking
about man’s sexual urge, I felt embarrassed. Young people
at my age feel constrained when it comes to discussing
these matters, although we need to discuss them.
When my father saw me blush, he remarked:
- Are you embarrassed?
* Yes, for talking about sex is not an easy subject.
- And talking of sexual drive is embarrassing. Isn’t it?
* Yes.
- Yet, it is a biological need which every ordinary man and
women feels the urge to satisfy, in the same way hunger
and thirst are satisfied.
* Nevertheless, Ali is still young.
- At a certain stage, man must get married.
* Do you mean it is a requirement of the shari’a law?
- Yes, to marry is obligatory for people, whose sexual
desire could lead them to committing that which is
```

## PDF PAGE 183

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183
haraam.
* So, Ali was courageous enough to decide to marry, while
still at a tender age.
- Brave, and principled. He decided to enter into holy
matrimony to ward off temptations and satisfy his sexual
desire. For him, it was a matter of principle, because his
firmness could have been undermined and he could have
been tempted into wrong doing.
For such unsettling experience, Ali preferred to face the
problem head on and approach his father, expressing an
interest in marriage, and acting upon the Prophetic
saying, “He who gets married shall safeguard half of his
religion; so he must fear Allah in the remaining half”.
Furthermore, marriage is one of the acts that are loved by
God Almighty, “And one of His signs is that He created
mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in
them, and He instilled in you love and compassion for one
another; most surely there are signs in this for a people
who reflect”. (30/21). “O people! be careful of (your duty
to) your Lord, Who created you from a single being and
created its mate of the same (kind) and spread, from these
two, many men and women ..”. (4/1).
Traditions extolling the virtue and merit of marriage
abound. The Prophet (s.a.w.) was quoted as saying, “Get
married and encourage (your sons and daughters) to
marry”. It has also been narrated from Imam Mohammad
al-Baqir (a.s.) thus, “There has not been created any
institution in Islam which is more favoured and dearer to
Allah than wedlock”. And Imam Mousa al-Kadhim (a.s.)
had this to say, “Three (types) of people shall find refuge
in the shade of the Creator’s Throne on the Day of
Judgement where there shall be no shade but His: A man
who took it upon himself to set up his brother in
matrimony, a person who did his brethren a service, and a
third who did not breach the trust placed in him by
```

## PDF PAGE 184

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184
others”.
There are more such hadiths that, beside urging men and
women to get married, stress the revulsion for staying
celibate.
* Do I hear that you said, “Men and women”?
- Yes, it is makrouh (a repulsive or repugnant act) for both
men and woman not to enter into matrimony. There are
scores of traditions, or hadiths, that urge women to marry.
Imam Abu Abdullah (a.s.) said, “The Messenger of God
Almighty (s.a.w.) forbade women from becoming recluses
so that they shun marriage”. And, “It is blissful not to delay
the marriage of women”.
* So, marrying at an early age is a good thing to do. Yet,
father, the cost of marriage nowadays is enormous.
- Maybe, but Islam calls upon us to avoid being
extravagant in marriage arrangements.
* And what about the staggering sums of dowry the
families of some would-be brides ask for?
- It is mustahab to ask for small dowries, and it is makrouh
to demand a big dowry. The Prophet (s.a.w) said, “The
best among the women of my umma (Islamic community)
are those who have brighter faces and smaller dowries”.
It is worth noting, however, that our Prophet (s.a.w.) gave
his daughter, Fatima in marriage to Imam Ali (a.s.) for a
small dowry - a coat of arms.
* What about a person who does not have a job or a
regular income to sustain a family?
- Allah, the Most High, said in His Holy Book, “And marry
those among you who are single and those who are fit
among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are
needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His
grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing”. (24/32).
In a commentary on this verse, Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.)
said, “Whomsoever steered clear of the road of matrimony
for fear of bearing the extra burden of starting a family, he
```

## PDF PAGE 185

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has thought badly of Allah, for He said, “Allah will make
them free from want out of His grace”.
* There is the problem, that has been created by some
some families of would-be brides who make it difficult for
prospective husbands. They spoil the chances of their
daughters getting married by setting unatainable targets.
They seek to appraise the suitability of the bridegroom
against certain criterion that they deem befitting to their
daughters. The result is that many a woman are left
unmarried. This attitude, however, is not new.
- It has been narrated that Imam Mohammad al-Baqir (a.s.)
received a letter from Ali bin Asbat, in which he asked him
for advice on how best he could give his daughters in
marriage, because he could not find the right men for
them. This was the Imam’s reply, “I took note of your letter
regarding the situation of your daughters. Do not dwell
on your idea, May Allah have mercy on you, because the
Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said: Whoever approached you
with the intention of marrying, you should look at their
character and piety. If these were acceptable, go ahead
and give your women in marriage to them. Should you
refrain from that, there shall be discord in the land and
great immorality”.
* At this point, my father left me to my thoughts,
pondering the array of harmful social practices that our
society has evolved. Such adverse social customs have
nothing to do with Islam and its injunctions that
recognize, above all, good ethical standards as
prerequisites for choosing a husband or a wife.
Soon it was time for my father and I to go to Ali’s wedding
party.
The atmosphere was full of joy and happiness; people
were clad in beautiful clothes, and bouquets of flowers
adorned the tables.
An alim was there to conduct the marriage ceremony.
```

## PDF PAGE 186

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186
There was a dignified silence, only to be broken by his
voice of addressing the bride, on the other side of a
screen. He was asking for her agreement to act as her
proxy in entering into the marriage contract. After reciting
few verses from the Holy Qur’an and narrating Prophetic
hadiths, appropriate to the occasion, he said to the bride,
“Do you agree, O Fatima! that I represent you and declare
you wife of Ali, son of Mohammad for a dowry of five
hundred Dirhams? If you agree, say: You be my attorney”.
With a faint voice, revealing some diffidence, Fatima
replied: You be my attorney.
No sooner had she uttered the sentence, the sound of
cheering erupted. The smiles of people were everywhere.
The alim then approached Ali and announced, “I wed you
Fatima, daughter of Ahmed for a dowry of five hundred
Dirhams in cash”. Thereupon, Ali responded, “I Accepted
the marriage”.
* However, why is the dowry so small?
- This is the dowry set by the Prophet (s.a.w.), i.e. five
hundred silver dirhams then.
* Has Fatima the right to enter into the marriage contract
without a third party, i.e. without someone to officiate?
- Yes, either or both parties to the contract can enter into
the marriage directly, i.e. without appointing agents; it is
preferable, though, that the formula of “assent and
acceptance” is adhered to.
* How?
- It is, for example, when the woman says, “I give you
myself in matrimony”. The man should say, “I accepted the
marriage”.
This is the case in a permanent marriage.
* Is there another form of marriage that is not permanent?
- Yes, there is the fixed-term marriage where a duration
and a dowry for the marriage are fixed. As for the
duration, it should not exceed the age of either party to
```

## PDF PAGE 187

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187
the marriage contract.
In common with permanent marriage, man and woman
can enter into the marriage contract themselves or
through proxies. If both decide to enter into the contract
themselves, the form of words used by the woman should
be, “I give you myself in marriage for (x days, months,
years) for a dowry of (x dirhams)”. The man should
respond immediately, i.e. without hesitation or pause, “I
accepted the marriage”.
* Does this mean that they become man and wife?
- Yes, except that they do not inherit one another, that the
husband is not obliged to maintain the wife, and that he is
free not to stay overnight with her. Should the duration of
marriage expire, the woman should no longer be halal for
the man to have sex with. In permanent marriage, the
wife is halal for the man as long as they live, unless it is
terminated by divorce.
However, there are conditions attached to the marriage
contract:
1. The verbal proposition of marriage and its acceptance.
That is, it is not sufficient for both parties to agree the
marriage, be it permanent or fixed-term; nor would the
written contract alone be sufficient to consummate the
marriage.
2. The intent to consummate the marriage, be it by the
man or wife, if they have performed the contract rite
themselves, or their representative.
3. The wholehearted agreement of man and wife.
4. Explicitly identifying both the man and the woman to
be wed. Thus, the contract shall not be valid, if, for
example, a man said to another, “I give you one of my
```

## PDF PAGE 188

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188
daughters in marriage”.
5. [Performing the verbal formula of contract in Arabic,
where possible].
6. The person who conducts the marriage ceremony
should be [adult] and sane.
If all these conditions are met, the marriage contract shall
be valid and both its parties shall be man and wife with
immediate effect.
* Immediately, even before the wedding party is over?
- Yes, when the contract is complete, both parties become
man and wife.
However, you should know that the validity of the
marriage of a sane adult virgin woman is subject to the
permission of her father or paternal grandfather [even if
she was independent].
* What about a non-virgin woman?
- She would have independent decision over her marriage.
* If a man married a woman on the presumption that she
was virgin, but discovered afterwards that she was not,
has he the right to annul the marriage contract?
- Yes, he has the right to deem the contract null and void.
* Should he decide to waive his right, what would the
alternative be?
- He should be able to receive the difference in dowry
between that of a virgin and non-virgin woman.
* Has the man the right to marry any woman he likes?
- Yes, he has such a right, except for certain categories of
woman whom he cannot marry for they are forbidden due
to blood relationship. These are:
1. Mother and paternal grandmother.
2. Daughter and his son’s daughters.
```

## PDF PAGE 189

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189
3. Sister, her daughters and their daughters.
4. Brother’s daughters and their daughters.
5. Paternal and maternal aunts.
6. Mother-in-laws and their paternal and maternal
grandmothers, that is even the marriage was not
consummated.
7. Step daughter of a marriage that was consummated.
8. Step mother and step grandmother.
9. Daughter-in-law and the wife of a grandson.
10. Sister-in-law, at the lifetime of his wife, for it is
forbidden to marry two sisters at the same time.
11. Nursing mother and her daughters by birth and
otherwise, who are forbidden to him because of lineage,
since the principle of prohibition is one.
It is also forbidden for the natural father of the suckling
infant to marry the natural daughters of the nursing
mother [and the daughters of the man whose milk they
shared, be they blood related or by way of suckling]. It is
to be noted, however, that not every type of breast
feeding necessarily leads to prohibition of marriage. Some
of the parameters that render breast feeding a source of
forbidding marriage are as follows:
a. The suckling must be administered directly from the
breast of the woman, i.e. it is not of a consequence, if the
woman’s milk was fed to the baby by a feeding bottle.
b. The suckling child should be less than two years old.
```

## PDF PAGE 190

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191
Breast feeding a child over two years old is irrelevant.
c. The suckling should contribute to the child’s flesh
building and bone strengthening. If, however, this is
unclear, breast feeding of a “full day and night” or “fifteen
suckling sessions” would be considered to have
contributed to breast feeding. If the matter can not be
resolved, by applying these limits, ihtiyat should be
observed.
It is to be noted, though, that in applying the time limit of
“one full day and night”, no other source of feeding, apart
from the woman’s milk, must be given during that time.
Should the child be prevented from breast feeding for part
of the time, or was given milk from another woman or
other food, the principle would not apply. [It is important
that the suckling child is hungry from the outset, so that
he takes its fill, and is contented by its feeding].
The fifteen sessions of breast feeding, should form an
uniterupted sequence by one woman. Each suckling
session should be complete, in that the baby should take
its fill.
There are more rules regarding breast feeding detailed in
jurisprudence books.
* If a man married according to the dictates of the sacred
shari’a law, what should he expect from his wife?
- Allah The Most High, says in His Holy Book, “Your wives
are a tilth for you, so go into your tilth when you like, and
do good beforehand for yourselves ...” (2/223)
A man can lawfully have sexual intercourse with his wife.
That is, she must not prevent him from doing so, except
where there is a valid reason preventing that. It is
forbidden for the wife of a permanent marriage to go out
without her husband’s permission.
A husband should provide maintenance for his wife, by
permanent marriage, be it food, clothes, or
accommodation commensurate to his income and
```

## PDF PAGE 191

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lifestyle.
He is not permitted to refrain from having sex with his
wife for more than four months, unless she allows it, or
there is a valid reason that could entail harm or an
untenable situation. This prohibition is even more
rigorous, if the wife is young.
* What would happen if the husband did not provide
maintenance for his wife?
- He shall be indebted with the cost of maintenance. If he
insisted on withholding it, despite her demand, she is
permitted to take it out of his property, even without his
knowledge.
There are, however, other rules that are designed to
uphold the moral code:
1. It is forbidden, for any man or woman, who are not
married to each other, to look or touch one another with
sexual desire and satisfaction; this also applies to children.
It is also haraam for people of the same sex, to do this to
one another, if they are men, women, or children.
2. Apart from husband and wife, it is forbidden to look at
the private parts of other people, male and female
[including discerning children].
3. It is forbidden for a man to look at the body and hair of
a woman to whom he is not married. It is permissible,
though, to look at her face and hands, provided that the
manner of looking does not arouse sexual desire.
Likewise, the woman is not allowed to look at a man to
whom she is not married, except for his head, hands, and
feet, provided that this does not arouse sexual desire.
4. Apart from the private parts, and without sexual desire,
men and women can look at the bodies of their
```

## PDF PAGE 192

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192
counterparts. Likewise, with the exclusion of private parts
and barring sexual gratification, men and woman can look
at the bodies of their maharim. Accordingly, one can look
at the body of one’s mother, sister, aunt, niece, and
grandmother.
* What about looking at one’s sister-in-law, and paternal
and maternal cousins?
- No, it is not permissible to look at them, because they do
not fall within the same category of maharim, i.e. they are
alien to him.
5. The woman must cover her hair and body because they
are forbidden to be exposed to the gazes of men
[including the boy who is capable of rational action, if
such exposure could arouse his sexual desire]. The face
and hands are excluded from this restriction, provided she
was sure of not committing a sinful act, and that exposing
such parts of the body is done with the aim of enticing
men into malicious looking.
6. If a man was committed to marrying a particular
woman, he is permitted to look at those parts of her body
such as face, hair, neck, hands, wrists, and legs, but
without sexual desire.
7. A male physician is permitted to look and touch a
patient woman’s body, if the treatment calls for it. This is
so, if the woman was forced to seek treatment with a male
physician, because he was more capable of administering
better treatment than a female physician. Conversely, she
should seek treatment with a woman doctor.
8. A Muslim man is allowed to marry a Christian or a
Jewish woman on a temporary basis.
* That is despite her not being Muslim nor a believer, and
```